Sarah, age 15... 07:17pm Jan 2, 1998 Hello! I am a fifteen year old girl living in Toronto. Are there any others out there who are living close by? I'd like to meet some Canadians and share interests. I'm not really into messing myself... I just like to wear soft, thick, dry diapers. Anyone wanna keypal? My private email address is: "xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxx". Hope to hear from you soon, even if you aren't from Canada! -Sarah :-)
09:35pm Jan 2, 1998 (# 1 of 16) hello Sara, my name is Paul would like to share interests with you,, live in Fla.. But would love to be your email pal.. If interested email me at xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxx... d pampers -
09:58am Jan 3, 1998 (# 2 of 16) Hi Sarah. I live in British Columbia and used to live in Missisauga ont. I love to wear diapers and would love to chat some time. Post if you agree Michael Brown -
09:11pm Jan 4, 1998 (# 3 of 16) Hello Sarah. My name is Mike. I'm 15. But live in (Note: City removed. I suggest that you remove your last name and then you can post your city - OK?). Would love to be your pen pal. Email me at xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxx. Or write a reply in my post. See you later. Dolsar Saris -
08:50pm Jan 5, 1998 (# 4 of 16) Yo! Hi all!! Sarah would you please try to mess in a diaper. If not put a diaper on and see how long you can hold your pee in bye!!
09:07pm Jan 8, 1998 (# 5 of 16) Hello... It's Sarah again. Thanks to all who emailed me. For those who I have replied to, you already know that the unspeakable has happened. My damn mother read my entire diary, and now she knows EVERYTHING about my personal side... Including my infantilism! I am so mortified, and I almost killed myself on Saturday (the day it happened). Her claim to fame for doing the deed was because "she was concerned about me"... That's complete bullcrap! She's just nosey! She told me never to speak to another "wacko" on the internet about it again (meaning all you guys at the DPF pages), but I'm not going to listen. As a human being, I have the right to talk to you guys if I want to... I've been alone all these years, and I finally want to share with others like me out there. My dad doesn't know about it, and I never want to talk of it to my parents again, but I'm sure the conversation is going to rear its ugly head again sooner or later. What should I do? I still feel like killing myself because I am so full of shame that it hurts. -Sarah :-(
sysop - 09:20pm Jan 8, 1998 (# 6 of 16) Dear Sara, What a terrible thing you are going through. This may be the worst time of your life. Hopefully you will be a stronger person because of it. Sometimes hardship makes us stronger. You are at a most difficult tine in life. You are still a child and not able to take on the full responsibility of adulthood for yourself, although you are capable of doing quite a bit for yourself. PLEASE hang in there. We all certainly are your friends. Do not do anything rash. The terrible problem is that you still have many years before you can make the decisions about life for yourself - and go in the directions that feel good for you. Right now you have no choice but to live with your parents. They do love you, I'm sure, but have attitudes about the world that are different than yours. This is very common. You will have to be very careful, and not do anything that will upset your parents. You can still do what you need, but can not share it with them, but remember they do love you - they just see things differently. Maybe the best thing, if possible, is to make your (Internet) contacts using a friend's computer or somewhere where you parents won't know. Also, don't keep your diary where they can see it. It IS none of their business, and your mother was wrong to look at it. It is your personal property - and she should have asked you first. Maybe you could see a counselor at school or church or something. They are trained in these kinds of things. I certainly am not, but my heart aches for you. You will find love in the world. Love, Tommy
Rathe - 11:23am Jan 9, 1998 (# 7 of 16) Hey Sara, I've not posted Before Because I didn't want to Seem Like 15 year old just trying to pick up on you But Maybe I can Offer My Advice on this one. About a year ago My Father Was Married to a Girl Named Cheryl. We didn't get along AT ALL. I don't really hate Anyone but She Made Me Just want to...argh...anyway One day she Found One of My diapers by going through My Room. (It was used) I was So Angry and Hurt I Wanted to die. I knew She Couldn't accept Me For what I was and that If I told the Truth that She would Just tease me and Never let me forget it or at least that's what I thought I might never find out what would have really happened. Anyway I chose to tell them that I did it to get back at her. After that they took me to a councilor and Basically Charyl made My life a (Excuse the term if it offends you people sorry) made my life a living hell. I wanted to die yet again. I had hid my diapers from her for awhile longer and She searched my room yet again and found my baby stuff. When She questioned me In all basicness my answer was that because of the way she Had gotten it I wouldn't tell her (Not in so many words but you get the picture) Shortly after my father and her Got divorced so I didn't have to tell her. Things got better.. My father (Whom I later told) doesn't understand Why..infact he thinks it's something he did wrong as a parent) but he does accept it partially and lets me be me. I just do my best to keep it hidden So I Don't Hurt Him. I told you all this (Which was possibly VERY boring but I'm a born Talker ;) to let you know You have Kindred spirits in us (all the Tb's) and that life is bearable and worth living, if for anything JUST for each other... And for twinkies..;^p hang in there. Suicide ain't worth it. Trust me. I have first point knowledge on THAT one too... I'd Tell you but I don't want to Bore you TOO much *Grinz* Just be careful, and remember life's an interesting thing, if everything went as planed it get Booring REAL fast. Forgive me If I put you to sleep Good Luck! "Life turns Out Best for those who make the Best of the way life turns out" -Some really smart fortune cookie -Rathe
Darin 3809 - 11:24am Jan 9, 1998 (# 8 of 16) Sarah: I too was in a situation like that when I was 16 only it was worse. I was in a store and the manager thought I had stolen some gum (I put the gum back and he didn't see me) so he brought me up to his office and searched me. I had a bag with a pair of plastic pants and a diaper in it with me. He asked me why I was carrying them and I just said "because". I was freaked out and didn't know what else to say. Anyway he threatened to turn me in to the authorities. He ended up keeping the pocket knife I had and the diaper stuff (don't ask me why) and let me go and told me never to come back into his store. I kept thinking what if he calls my parents. I wanted to crawl into a little black hole and disappear. I just never went back into that store again and nothing more became of it. Anyway the point of all my rambling is that things will get better. No matter how much you want to disappear, remember you always have friends out there that DO NOT want you to disappear! -Darin
Dolsar Saris - 08:40am Jan 10, 1998 (# 9 of 16) Hi Sarah it's Dolsar!! Just wondering how things are going for you.
Morris 4504 - 08:42am Jan 10, 1998 (# 10 of 16) Sarah-- ARRGH!! I've heard numerous stories from friends to whom similar things have happened-- this is why when I keep a journal, I always lock it. But it's too late for that, I suppose. (No, there's no practical difference between a "journal" and a "diary", but I've never been comfortable with the word "diary". It sounds too much like "diarrhea".) My only advice to you now would be that leaving at home is a huge pain in the ass, and life will get MUCH better for you very quickly when you get to college. Just hang in there until then. I hate cliches. But hang in there anyway. --Baby Morris
Clint - 08:45am Jan 10, 1998 (# 11 of 16) Sarah, I'm 16 & i doubt it will help any but i really hate what your mother did to you, i know its none of my business but you should be allowed to talk to all of us any time you want! If we were all in our 30's & you were 13 or something it would be different, but its not, your a normal teenager just like me & everyone else. You deserve the same respect as everyone else does in this world, i know i sound like I'm on a power trip or something but that's just the way i am!! You should be proud of what you are, its what makes you unique [is that how you spell it?]. I wouldn't go around telling everyone in school about it, there's always a jerk in every school. If you ever want to talk E-mail me at xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxx you should confront your mother about what she did, its not right, she knows it & you know it, i don't know how she could be able to look in a mirror every morning, i couldn't! see ya, keep your head up hun! Sarah
Griffin - 08:47am Jan 10, 1998 (# 12 of 16) Hello... Thanks to all who have replied to my last post... You helped me cheer up enough to get over this issue a little. I'm no longer suicidal, and I've talked about it a bit with my best friend Tory (the only person I've told about the infantilism). Tory and I practice the Pagan religion Wicca, and we used to be in a coven, so we've grown quite close to each other and to Nature. (A quick note to others... Wicca is most certainly NOT satanism, so please don't back away thinking that I have a '666' tattooed on my forehead, cuz I don't!) Tory heightened my spirits a bit more as well. I am able to communicate with my mother, but I don't like having conversations with her or having prolonged physical contact, in fear that she may say something to bring on the infantilism. I am scared to wear a diaper, and I can't use my diary anymore because it is a constant reminder of what happened (it's in the garbage can). My father and I have a much better relationship than my mother and I... especially since after his diagnosis of prostate cancer. He's fine though... He's made a 100% recovery, and he seems to be acting much calmer and more fun to be around with than beforehand... kinda more like an older brother than a father (geez, I'm babbling, aren't I?!). Sometimes I ponder the idea of telling my father about the infantilism, but then I feel uncomfortable with the idea because after his surgery he was incontinent and had to wear 'Depends' for a while, and knowing that his daughter is into that sort of thing might make him feel very awkward (it would make me feel quite awkward telling him as well). 1997 was a really stressful year for our family, and I hope 1998 will be better... Even though it has gotten off on the wrong foot for me. -Griffin :-|
Andrew 3929 - 09:45am Jan 11, 1998 (# 13 of 16) Sarah; If you really want to tell your father but unsure of how he might react, you could try and talk to him something which you know you and your mom would not be able to talk about and then judge how he might react to you being a infantilist by how he reacted. You can also get stuff on-line that talks about infantilism if you think that will help.
Sarah - 10:56am Jan 16, 1998 (# 14 of 16) Hello... Well, my mom and I have come to some understanding within the past week. It began with another fight about how distant I've become. Then my sister called and somehow coaxed me in my once again hysterical, self-destructive state to go over to mom and give her a hug, which I eventually brought myself to do. Then mom made lunch and poured us some wine. This may sound like a very strange way of settling things, but she said that she trusted me with my life and thought I was mature enough to have some wine with her. So I ended up having five glasses of red wine, both of us finishing the bottle, and by the end of the night we were dancing to the Pet Shop Boys and laughing together quite drunkenly, and she said she didn't really care what my fetishes are, because "all people have quirks anyway". She apologized for reading the diary, saying that she knew she committed the ultimate sin, and I forgave her. And I don't think it was the red wine talking when I accepted her apology and told her I loved her because now we're much closer, and I'm not afraid to wear diapers anymore! -Sarah :-)
sysop - 11:03am Jan 16, 1998 (# 15 of 16) Oh, Dear Sarah, that is so marvelous. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. I would like to quote the series of messages on this discussion about you and your mom - on the main Teen Page in the DPF site. I would like it there to help other teenagers - to show it just like it happened. I would NOT show your name or email address - just how sit unfolded, your initial experience, the support from others, the final reconciliation with your mother. Please, can I do that. You can just enter a message here saying yes or no, or you can send an email to me at babytom@well.com Hope to hear from you, sincerely, in wet diapers, Tommy
Sarah Griffin - 10:26am Jan 17, 1998 (# 16 of 16) Sysop... Sure, go right ahead! I don't mind... I'd like to help other teens with their problems if this information can do that. Thanx!