Sample True Stories
Dear Tommy and Friends,
Hi everyone, I am Baby JJ and I am 43 going on 2-1/2. Having been
a member of DPF now for almost a year, I can honestly say I have
never experienced anything like DPF in my life. I am like others
in DPF who have wished that something like DPF would have been
around much earlier in our lives. For most of my life I also thought
I was alone with my feelings and my inner desire to wear diapers.
Though I have not always worn diapers since potty training, I
have always held a very strong desire to want them on me. This
morning I am dressed in my thick (12 layers) soaked (of course)
diaper covered and with DPF Gerber style pants from last night.
I have on my blue and yellow trimmed footed sleepers that have
a snap covering over the top of the zipper. I made these sleepers
about three years ago. I am sucking on a DPF pacifier and holding
my yellow baby blanky and teddy bear in my lap.
I can't tell you how or why I started wanting to wear diapers
or to be a toddler. Maybe it was something my parents did or said,
or maybe I was just born with this desire. Whatever, it really
does not matter why or how it started. What does matter is that
this is a very important part of my life and always has been.
My life with diapers started when I was three or four years old.
I grew up as the second of nine children. There were always babies
around, and of course where there are babies there are diapers.
My younger siblings seemed to receive much of my mother's time
and attention. I remember early in my life my younger brother
taking off his soaking wet diapers after he had gotten out of
bed. Every morning he would slip them down his legs without unpinning
them. He is a year younger than me, and we slept together in the
same bed. During this period I have my first real memory of me
putting a diaper on myself. I had taken one of his really wet
diapers and put it on. Then I went pee in it and felt this wonderful
warm rush go through my insides. I think I felt comforted and
nurtured, as I do today. I then pulled off the now extremely soaked
diaper and got dressed for the day. I soon began doing this every
morning, and no one ever knew what I was doing, until he stopped
wearing diapers a year later.
My next experience of my early childhood was when I was six. As
a punishment, my daddy bathed me (like an infant) and put me in
a diaper. Then he put me in a highchair to eat supper in front
of my whole family while they eat supper. At first I felt ashamed
and embarrassed but at the same time very excited and filled with
tremendous joy. Little did anyone know, but I was loving every
minute of it. Of course I put on this act that I did not like
it, so no one really knew how I was feeling inside.
As time went on I started taking clean diapers and plastic pants
out of the dryer in the basement next to my bedroom and putting
them on. Sometimes I felt sad because I couldn't go pee in them,
because my mom would have found out what I was secretly doing.
However, just putting them on me seemed to fill some of my needs.
When I was nine, and for the next four years or so, I was sexually
abused by a man who lived next door to us. He made me do naughty
stuff kids were not supposed to know about, and he also diapered
me and treated me like a real baby. He had some diapers and plastic
pants that fit me. When I had a diaper on I found that I felt
safe, because I knew he could not hurt me when he abused me. He
would also give me baths and played with my little thing and put
his finger up my tight hole as he would wash me. I always had
to ask his permission to go number one or number two when I had
to use the toilet. This stopped suddenly when my daddy became
very suspicious and threatened the man and told him to stay away
from me.
As I got older I couldn't fit into the infant diapers any longer
so I started improvising by using some towels. I also loved using
baby receiving blankets as diapers once I found out they fit and
worked better than towels. However, I had no plastic pants that
would fit my growing teen body, so I would go pee in them anyway
and let the pee run down my pants and legs. We had a deep sink
downstairs next to the washing machine where I would rinse them.
Then I would hang the damp diapers to dry in my closet behind
some dry clothes.
When I was sixteen my mom found some diapers in my room. Boy,
were my parents upset. I can't remember what I told them as an
explanation, but my childhood in diapers ended right then and
there.
Later on I joined the military, got married and we had a son.
The marriage didn't last very long and, as I was packing up her
and my son's belongings, I found my old friend. I saw some receiving
blankets, plastic pants and pins. I had never thought about this
while I was married, but for some reason these thoughts came back
at this time. I told myself, "Why not, who would know".
She wasn't living there anymore, and I was alone. So I pinned
on the baby blankets and held the plastic pants tightly in my
fists as I caressed the smooth plastic. I lay on the bed and went
pee in the diaper. Of course I soaked through the diaper and the
bed with my fresh hot pee. This felt really great.
This re-awakening was 20 years ago, and I still wet in my diapers
and suck my bottle at night as I hold my big teddy bear and blanky.
From then on, my life as a baby has evolved into something that
is as much a part of me as eating or my eye color. That is what
most people do not seem to understand.
Shortly after the divorce I met and married my second wife. Soon
after we married I told her about the baby side of me, and she
freaked out. So my diapers and I went into hiding once again.
I found that catalogs like J.C. Penny's and Sears carried adult
sized diapers and plastic pants, and I just had to have some.
This was embarrassing because I had to go to the catalog counter
and pay for them after they came in. I just knew they would figure
it out - that what was inside the package was for me. However,
I took a deep breath and went to the counter anyway.
I wore them whenever I knew my wife would be away for a couple
of hours or more. Later she found them in my hiding place and
confronted me about them. She wanted me to see a therapist, but
I couldn't do that. This was already embarrassing to me, that
she found them and would not accept them as part of being me.
So I promised her that I would stop wearing them. However, I couldn't
and I didn't.
Late in 1986 my wife's father died, and she had to go home for
a month. I couldn't go with her because of my work schedule. I
thought to myself about the thirty days alone wearing diapers
whenever I wanted to. I wore them around the house and slept in
them every night. It was really a great time of enjoyment being
a baby again.
One night after she had returned from being gone for a month,
I peed the bed. Our youngest child, who was a year and a half
old, usually slept between us at night. Sometimes his diaper leaked,
so she thought he had leaked and didn't suspect that it was me.
I wanted to wear diapers more openly, so I brought the subject
up to her once more. This time I stated that it was me wetting
the bed at night, not our son. I explained that I was under a
lot of stress at work and thought that must be the reason I was
wetting the bed. She finally and reluctantly agreed to let me
wear diapers at night, if I thought it would help. Besides, she
didn't like to wake up to a wet bed at night. She made the condition
that I could not wear them every night or get used to wearing
them. She told me she married a man and expected me to be one
and not a baby. Her toleration of this lasted about two weeks,
and again she asked me not to wear them.
I was transferred to the east coast in 1988. This was the best
cross country trip I had ever experienced. I went ahead of the
family by driving one of our cars east, then flew back to the
west coast for the family and the other car. Without my wife knowing
it, I bought a package of disposable diapers and drove cross country
in diapers the whole trip. It was a delightful trip to say the
least.
We separated and divorced in 1992, and I again found myself alone.
During the divorce proceedings she used my love for diapers against
me - by telling her attorney and the courts about what she called
"my sexual perversion". Neither to my surprise nor hers,
she won the custody battle, though all three children wanted to
live with me. My children now know about this side of my life,
and they seem more accepting of it than my ex-wife was.
Anyway, this time being alone gives me the opportunity to wear
diapers whenever I have the desire or need to. I have developed
more of my baby world wardrobe and toys. I soon made my first
blanket sleeper by modifying a pattern I had found and then buying
a toddler's sleeper to see how to sew the feet. I also bought
enough diapers and plastic pants so that I could be in diapers
every night and during the day time on weekends.
Since my divorce I have also purchased a blanket ("blankey")
and some bottles as well and a couple of pacifiers to complete
my dream world. I fold juvenile sized diapers inside my adult
ones to provide soaker material. With a double diaper and four
juvenile sized diapers, this gives me enough padding so that I
can soak my diaper four to five times in a night and not leak.
However, I do like it when my diaper does leak through because
all toddler diapers leak on occasion.
Since I found DPF last year I have added another sleeper, a set
of red coveralls, an adult sized nipple for my bottle, a large
pacifier, T-top T-shirt and a T-top Top Onesie. I also purchased
three of your Gerber style plastic pants. I think these are really
great because that is what my mom used on me as a baby. I've always
wanted as much realism in my baby world's dressing. Now I believe
I have gotten closer to this with your DPF catalog. This realism
was not achieved with my plastic pants until I found out about
your wonderful catalog. The ones that I had been using were plastic
vinyl and the crotch was not as wide as yours.
My dream is to someday have my very own mommy, daddy, or a couple
adopt me and baby me for an entire weekend and hopefully longer.
I would like to be bathed and dried off by them, then laid out
on my bed and have baby lotion and powder put on all over my body.
There would be a fresh diaper and maybe a sleeper lying next to
me on the bed. I would like to be tickled as I laugh and talk
baby talk, as my mommy or daddy dress me for the day or for bed.
If it's in the morning, I would like to play in the playpen with
my favorite toys and suck on my bottle of milk. Then I would like
it if every so often my mommy or daddy checks to see if I needed
changing. I also would like them to play with me and take me to
the park (wearing a diaper of course) and maybe go to the mall
to see all the neat toys in the toy stores.
I have enjoyed the many letters and articles in your Newsletters.
It is refreshing to know that others in this world are like me.
Many Thanks, Tommy, and the DPF staff, for everything you have
done for all of us babies around the world. Love to all and Stay
Wet and sassy. John, Bremerton, WA 98311. Roster p.-950. Mail-Box
# 2948. .
(Dear John, your letter is truly wonderful because it describes
in such wonderful detail the pleasures and frustrations you have
experienced in your life. I'm sure that many people reading it
have experienced similar things in their lives, and they will
empathize and sympathize with you. Your desire to spend a weekend
or longer as a baby seems to indicate that you are well balanced
in your life, neither trying to reject the baby part of you, nor
making it a full time, exclusive desire.
Your two marriages and good relationship with your children shows
that you can experience and enjoy yourself as a healthy adult,
too. My only advice is, if you ever attempt to remarry, please
talk about your baby side before you get married. There are many
gals out there who can understand this whole thing if it is kept
in balance and does not become the exclusive part of your marriage.
Good luck. Tommy).
Dear Tommy, This is a short story about myself. I was a bed wetter, and my Mom made me wear baby's diapers. She not only made me wear them to bed at night but felt it was because I was afraid of the dark so she made me wear them all the time. It wasn't too unpleasant and I didn't mind wearing them. Since my older sister had the job of diapering me and changing my wet and messy diapers, she let her put girl's clothes on me.
When I started school I had to wear my diapers to school. I was so ashamed and was afraid everyone would tease me, so I really tried to stop. Well, I think that I would have stopped earlier except my sister always wanted to go out and so she bathed and diapered me for bed right after supper. If my diapers were wet at bed time she changed me, but most of the time they were still dry or only a little damp so I was sent to bed wearing the same diapers she had pinned on me earlier.
Well, I finally did stop wetting my diapers at night, but since I had no boy's underwear they made me wear my sister's bloomers. This scared me again because I was so afraid they would show. They were pink rayon and felt really good against my skin. I finally did get my boy's underwear
and everything was fine. Then one day in school I got the runs, and the teacher let me go to the toilet several times but then she told me it was almost time to go home so I would just have to wait. After school I had to run to catch my bus and, needless to say, by the time I got home I had dirtied in my pants. I was marched up and cleaned up and diapered and put in one of my sister's complete outfits. I cried, not because I had to wear these clothes but because I was being punished for something I couldn't help. Well this started something. After that day they started using this as my punishment. I always cried. I was so afraid. I didn't mind wearing these clothes, but was afraid they would go back to giving me whippings. Wearing diapers and my sister's clothes was not a bad punishment.
Then they did finally stop. I wasn't sure if it was because I outgrew all my rubber panties or not, but making me go potty in my diapers and drinking out of a nursing bottle was all part of my punishment. At first I just went without them but I did miss them. Then one day I picked up a pair of my shorts and there was a pair of my sister's panties underneath. I was going to give them to mom but decided she wouldn't believe me, so I put them on and wore them to school under my boy's clothes. I figured when she put the wash away she had my shorts on top of my sister's panties and picked up one too many. Well that started something. I began wearing my sister's panties or her blomers under my boy's clothes to school. Then I went to the storage room and found my old diapers and took several of them and hid them in my room. I began wearing them under my clothes on week ends, but I was so ashamed that if anyone found out they would think I was sick in the head or something.
One day I found in a magazine called "Sexology" that showed a girl in a crib wearing diapers and drinking a nursing bottle. They said she was in an institution for the mentally ill. I felt so sorry for her because I could relate to her and wondered why the doctors, who are supposed to be so smart, couldn't see that nothing was wrong with her and that all she probably needed was some loving. So I went through life with my secret love for dressing as a baby girl. I had a complete wardrobe of baby's and girl's clothes hidden away in my closet. Oh how I fantasized that some nice understanding lady who would diaper me and still treat me like a normal human being. I am now much older and wiser now, and found your club quite by accident. I always felt there were other people who felt like me but, I never met any.
I just read my newsletter, and would like an application for the ones printed to make them available each and every month. Also, how can I get a complete listing or at least a listing of people in my area. Each newsletter has a few but none in my area. Very Truly Yours, Billy, Cincinnati, OH, 45211, Roster page-958. Mail-Box # 2719.
Dear Tommy, I'm a 31 year old gay adult baby (height 6'2", 89kgs). I am almost totally shaved (legs, diaper area, belly, chest, armpits) and after a nice little bath I put loads of powder all over the area which is going to be covered by my beautiful plastic pants with lots of rectangular diapers inside it. I'm actually obsessed with bulkiness. My motto is
"THE BULKIER THE BETTER"
All I know is that I want those bulky, huge and wide diapers to make me walk like a little duck. I want to feel their stubborn persistence between my legs, their obsessive bulky feeling enlarging my little ass and burying my little penis with loads of white, soft fluff. I do obviously like to wet them, and when it happens I like to feel those thick diapers becoming heavier and warmer! But the wetter they become, the thinner, so I eventually want to change them for a set of new extra-thick dry diapers.
I'm also simply hypnotised when I touch the plastic pants and when I listen to the noise they make when I walk or move. They rustle so beautifully that I imagine them saying to me , "You will belong to us forever!". Their music is accompanied by the sound of all those bulky diapers rubbing against each other. It remind me of somebody walking on the whitest and freshest snow. You may think that what I wear after my evening bath is the bulkiest thing one could imagine, but when it's time to go to bed I go even bulkier. My "night companion" is a one-size, bigger plastic pant with a large anatomical diaper which I simply make by taking a large disposable night diaper and cutting the edges out of it and covering it with three large, rectangular diapers. I wet quite a lot at night (most of the times unconsciously!), but my loving and diligent companion takes care of me and absorbs everything.
I also like to suck fresh, warm milk from a baby's bottle and to make baby noises when doing it. When I go to bed I fall asleep sucking a nice soft pacifier and cuddling my cute little Teddy bear (he's got the most tender looking eyes!). What I miss is a nice, clean footed sleeper, and I'm glad to see that you sell them.
I do not think of myself as a toddler, though. Rather I'm a ten year old boy who misses his early childhood desperately. I don't want to grow up and become responsible! I want to regress permanently to a 1-2 year old cute baby! Here's "My True Story".
I've been into diapers since...forever, I think.. When I was 5 my older sister caught me playing with a blanket which I used as a diaper. She told my mother and they teased me and wanted me to wear real plastic pants and diapers. I refused strongly, even though that is what I wanted most and I've regretted not complying with my mother's instruction ever since! I wasn't a bedwetter (but luckily I've become one now!), and I always envied those kids of my age who were.
When I was 11 I found the courage to go into a pharmacy and buy a plastic pant for teenage kids, but during the rest of adolescence I was more interested in gay genital sex than into diapers. When I was in the army ( age 20), the attraction for diapers came back and has grown ever since. I've been wearing diapers every night for a year now and I intend to do so for the rest of my life! I feel alone, however, and there are two things that I wish more than anything else - to wear diapers 24 hours a day and to find somebody with whom to share this.
I have written to two contacts I found on your list of parties (on the Web). I chose the two nearest to Italy, Patrick (Paris) and Uwe Hammer (Germany) and I asked them if they know anybody in Italy. I hope they answer positively or at least tell me of a party reasonably near to me.
Here's how I discovered DPF. I was navigating the Web and looking for the sites in which the word "diaper" was mentioned, and I found your "parties page". You are quite right in your message there: I did shake and I felt my heart jumping through my throat when I read for the first time in my life the words "adult baby"! But I'm so happy and glad I found you. I feel now like a member of a huge community (even though we are dispersed over a huge world). When I went to bed on that first night I touched my plastic pants and felt happy imagining you all doing the same gesture at the same time. I thank you so much, Tommy, for helping me feel reassured about my identity. I am a diaper lover and I bless God for the happiness diapers give to me! I read almost everything on your site and feel more and more happy and at home. The funniest thing is that I always thought that with another guy I would have liked to play the role of the daddy, but I realized when I was in the DPF site that what I REALLY want is to be punished (so to speak...) in three ways:
- to be reproached, teased, and forced to wear a diaper and act like a two year old by a grown up, because I'm a 10 year old boy who wets his pants
- to be spanked while wearing a huge, messy disposable diaper
- to be tied to a bed while wearing a huge newborn type diaper which keeps my legs wide open and (isn't this the most dreadful torture!) not allowed to touch the diaper!
But I must say that I also love the punishment you proposed in "Don't go here!" (web page), the one which says, "You will listen to a hypnotic tape which will regress you to a 1-2 year old PERMANENTLY". I hope to get an answer to that. I do wish such a tape really existed!
Dear Tommy, thanks for reading this very long letter. I'm sure you understand that when it's the first time in life you can talk to somebody about your diaper love, you would never stop. Well, many thanks again, Love, Renato, ITALY. Email: sabbadin@ibguniv.unibg.it (publish Email only with permission - emailed 2/27/97)
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